30 Days of Yoga and 7 Asks of Teachers

I just finished a 30 day yoga challenge. I wrote about my experience in the previous post: this post is part two. Doing yoga every day in a studio with a variety of different teachers allowed me to reflect on what qualities I value in a teacher. I’ve written these qualities below as though I was making a request or offering advice simply because I prefer writing in an active voice. 

I offer these tips up purely from my experience as a student over the last 30 days because I believe in what yoga practise can offer to support a more mindful and active life. It’s amazing to see the number of people line up and sign up for public classes across the city. Tens of thousands of people are feeling the benefits of yoga. Discerning students recognize that good yoga practitioners do not always make good yoga teachers just like great athletes do not always make great coaches. The skill of teaching must still be learned and honed. Here are a few qualities that I think contribute to a great teacher. What do you think is missing?

1. Share a piece of yourself. When you authentically share  your own personal experience, your students are invited to connect with you. This builds community and students may be more open to receive your teachings. What you share doesn’t have to be big - often the most seemingly mundane things can be the most powerful.

2. Know your students names and use them. In 30 days of yoga, being asked my name was very much the exception not the norm. 

3. Teach to what you see. Most classes I attended were well planned and well sequenced but they did not necessarily accommodate who was in the room. This leads me to tips 4, 5, and 6.

4. Make all your classes multi-level. You will have students that come to your class every week or once a month or maybe one time only. They may be brand new practitioners or have years of practise under their belts. Most of us have physical imbalances in our bodies and some of us have injuries and tweaks here and there. You don’t have time to get to know averyone’s abilities so give multi-level instructions throughout. 

5. Sequence a class to balance the body.  Many classes left me feeling like I just made all my imbalances way worse. The sequence of yoga postures left my back body overstretched and and my front body over contracted. Whether you spend all day as a desk jockey or full time athlete, most of us need to have the back body strengthened and front body lengthened and we need to re-learn how to use our core in a functional way. Movement classes should help maintain good posture, balanced strength and joint mobility. So please for the sake of my impending cave woman walk… please fit in some back extensor work and glut activation postures. 

6. Give specific and individual instruction. I am coming to your class to be guided by you. Don’t be afraid to give me instruction or adjustments. Even if your studio has rules about adjustments (whatever happended to those?), please give me instruction specific to me. Then give me a choice to take it. That may be an idea how to modify or expand a pose or assistance to do so. I’m coming to your class for YOUR instruction - I can get no instruction at home.  Out of 30 classess, I recieved individual instruction in two and I observed very little individual instruction given to others. Generalized instruction was the norm. While we may all be connected, we are not all the same. 

7. BE you. The classes I enjoyed the most were guided by teachers that have found their own unique voice - they don’t duplicate anyone else’s style or offering. They apply their skills and knowledge and offer that through their own unique being.

30 Days of Yoga...30 Days of Monkey Mind

Our thoughts and emotions come and go - that is our human experience. If we are able to pause enough to watch them, we might conclude that no action is needed. 

This is not another article about all the health and fitness benefits of a 30-day yoga challenge. No…. this is a look into how doing yoga at the studio every damn day was an invitation to watch my wild, critical and non-stop monkey mind. Returning to home practise will be a breeze after this. 

To accomplish this challenge, I had to fit my schedule into the studio's schedule. With multiple types of classes offered and several locations, I thought scheduling shouldn’t be too difficult. Yet, with a family and a busy work life I have one window on any particular day to fit in a class. That often meant taking a hot class when I really wanted to take Power or taking a Power class when I my body yearned for Yin.  It meant putting my own preferences for teachers and studios aside and deciding to make the teacher in the front of the room my very favorite teacher in that moment. It also meant practising beside darth vadar breathers, grunters, gigglers (oh wait, I am one of them) and those students that strive to fit in every possible advanced pose they can think of when cued to “take the full expression of the pose”.………this was going to be my 30 day challenge.

Though my own practise ebbs and flows and takes many forms, I have practised yoga regularly for many years. Miles of bike riding and running led me to Ashtanga yoga in the early 2000’s.  These Ashtanga roots gave me discipline to make practise a part of my life. It’s been a very long time since I’ve practised the Primary series but most days I get on my mat - some days 5 minutes to breath, some days full spectrum practise. I do lots of other physical things too so the asana part of yoga is just that …a part.  My point is that for me, this yoga challenge was not about strengthening a greater commitment to my physical practise (though I won’t deny it…I won’t mind if I am able to rock out a solid hand stand one day!) 

I transitioned back to work in October after a six month sabbatical - I thought a 30 day yoga challenge away from home would help me balance work wtih the rest of my life. I saw the challenge as a way to strengthen my commitment to myself and to remind myself what was important to me. I knew the transition from having freedom in my days to hike, run, do yoga and spend time with my daughter and my doggy was not going to be an easy one. I was heading back into 9 and 10 hour work days sitting in front of a desk coupled with sometimes two hours of commuting in a car.  With 12 hours out of my day already gone, I knew that carving out an hour or two for for me was going to be tough. I also knew it meant I was going to have to choose between running, walking my dog, having dinner with my daughter OR going to yoga. So, for 30 days I chose yoga.

It had been a long time since I practised regularly at a studio.  It had been a long time that I’d been tied to an eight to five work schedule. Even with the new routine, week one of the challenge was smooth. I caught up with many friends that I hadn’t seen in a long time and felt welcomed back into this community. The novelty of having a teacher, and a variety at that, made coming to class interesting.  Group practise is different than indiviudal practise and the energy, the sweat, the pulsation of breath that comes from a community of practitioners is uplifting. The feeling of connectedness is hard to duplicate on your own.

That is until you repeatedly find yourself setting up your mat beside Darth Vadar guy. Yeah…by week two that was me. My monkey mind kept waiting for the instructor to give some proper breath instruction so they guy didn’t permanently damage his throat and I didn’t explode from the agitation building up inside of me.  Witnessing this convinced me to keep coming back… 

My yoga studio honeymoon was over by week three. I’d arrive for class, rushed and guilt ridden knowing I might only see my daughter for fifteen minutes after class to say good night. I’d find myself in down dog analyzing whether the value of what I was getting from this class was worth the sacrifices to get there.  I’d witness my own silent thoughts as I breathed rhythmically… “I should have just practised at home….I wish I would have gone for a run…. if she keeps talking, I’m going to lose it…”.  I’d watch my mind, resisting the dharma talks coming from the lithe, lean 21 year old body at the front of the room, internally rolling my eyes into the back of my head and come back to the solace of my breath. I’d feel myself cringe when the teacher would tell me to “lift the back of my quadriceps” (I’m pretty sure she meant hamstrings) or give some other instruction that contradicted basic anatomy.  I am by no means a sanskrit scholar and never aspire to be so who would have thought I’d get my knickers in a knot when the teacher referenced our “shakras” instead of our “CH-akras”.  Sometimes the chakra talk would evolve to another level of philosophical woo-woo some of which sounded like it came from a hallmark greeting card….. I watched my once open mind close the door pretty damn fast.  Go ahead and judge me for thinking these things but remember, I am simply the witness here. 

The act of watching my mind shout out these silent criticisms was full of agony and hilarity all at the same time.  I attempted to tune out the diatribe of excessive instruction coming from the teacher and focus on the rhythm of my breath and then I’d visualize myself in a You Tube video with speech bubbles popping up, sharing all the crap that was going on in my head….all the while my ujayi was like a frickin’ metronome and my face was as peaceful as the Buddha himself.  Every day, I’d show up and watch my nonstop thoughts come and go and my emotions roll. Many of these thoughts and emotions would never have come up with a home practise.  This 30 day challenge was helping me connect to myself purely by throwing me discomfort, discontent and distraction.  

Today I finished my 30 classes in 30 days and I’m thankful for the experience each class has offered. I am grateful to have had the opportunity to strengthen my ability to watch my own monkey mind. To practise letting my thoughts and emotions roll. This challenge also gave me the opportunity to reflect on what qualities I value in a teacher. I’ll share this in a subsequent post. 

For now though I look forward to more time to hike, run, spend time with my daughter and roll out my yoga mat in my very own living room free from public yoga room distractions.  When my own home practise seems to be going too smoothly, I will go back to the studio and set my mat up right next to Darth Vadar guy. Perhaps one day I won’t observe the agitations because they will no longer exist. 

I Get Up And Breathe

"I forgot to set my alarm today so I got up at 6:30 am instead of 5:30 am".

"What do you do at 5:30 am?" replied my colleague in such a way that I know she thinks I'm barking mad.

"I just get up and breathe….before anyone else wakes up...I breathe and enjoy the silence". Most often, this breathing is followed by more deliberate breathing practices and asana practice but sometimes, I just roll out of bed, sit or lie on my yoga mat and breathe. My goal this year has been to re-establish a morning home yoga practice.

This simple act, this simple practice sets the tone for my day. It means that I live closer to my truth for a few more minutes, perhaps a couple of hours and if I'm lucky…the whole day (I'm not sure this has happened yet). I listen instead of creating a grocery list while some else is speaking. I respond instead of react and I can better concentrate on the tasks that I must tackle that day. If I miss this part of the morning, it's quite likely that my day will become a disorderly sequence of events and adventures that leave me sweating as I rush to the daycare, inhale some breakfast or run for the bus only to arrive at work later than I'd hoped.  I arrive at work defeated and much more exhausted than if I would have kept my promise to myself to practice.

So, tomorrow when I hear my alarm go off way to early and I feel deep fatigue and the intense desire to sleep just a little longer, I will remind myself that THIS is my practice. I will remind myself that I am serving myself by doing this and by staying the course, I can better serve others. I will remind myself that REPETITION is what creates results. "Practice and all is coming" said Ashtanga Yoga Institute founder Sri Patthabhi Jois. He taught that "If we practice the science of yoga, which is useful to the entire human community and which yields happiness both here and hereafter – if we practice it without fail, we will then attain physical, mental and spiritual happiness, and our minds will flood towards the Self.”

Yes Guruji.

Yes Cor. You can do it.

Aging Gratefully

I turn 43 tomorrow. I am middle-aged. In fact, according to Statistics Canada I am past middle aged - the lifespan for Canadian women is nearly 83.  I have wrinkles and a few grey hairs. I need a more supportive bra than when I was 25 and on most days, I wear comfortable shoes. Thank the shoe designers, there are some stylin' versions of foot comfort!

This acknowledgement of age is not me sinking into a deep funk. It is me watching life in awe! It is amazing to witness myself age and know that there is so much more living and being yet to do. This life time may go on for another 43 years if I'm lucky or perhaps my time in this body will run out sooner. Whatever my path is, I am grateful that through the passage of time and life itself, I learn more every day how to dive into THIS pure moment. I learn to embrace the highs, the lows and the in-betweens. I learn that I am more than myself. I am connected to this, that and you.

I have much to be grateful for but in celebration of my 43 years, and in no particular order, here are 43 things I am grateful for today.

1.     My Health.

2.     My ability to run!

3.     This practice of YOGA.

4.     My breath.

5.     My beautiful daughter. I am SO amazingly blessed to have this little person with a massive heart in my life. I love her openness, her curiosity, and her desire to create art all day long. I love the way she sleeps like a starfish even when she climbs in my bed, the way she negotiates for more stories and more songs at bed times, the way she dances and that she loves to dance, the way she rides her run bike full tilt for 10 minutes and then asks me to give her a push because she's tired. I love the way she says "I love you every day for ever" to me and "I am a talent" and "I am awesome" about her self. I love that she wants to practice yoga and wants me to teach her.

6.     The lesson of BEING HERE NOW that my dog Otis teaches me every day.

7.    Dogs SMILES as I enter the front door.

8.   The love that streams out of these two beings for ME. It is endless.

9.   The amazing community of yogis and teachers that I have the opportunity to practice with.

10. Access to beautiful nourishing food and the wisdom (on most days) to choose what energizes me.

11. Raw Dark Chocolate (and yes, good chocolate is energizing!)

12. A Freshly brewed long shot Americano with the espresso foam still on top…

13. Big huge trees with massive root structures that travel what seems like miles into the earth and similarly have branches that travel miles into the sky. Pure Amazingness.

14. Long trail runs with my pals.

15. Mud.

16. Hot showers to wash away the mud and clear my soul.

17. Moving water: Streams, creaks, rivers, ocean waves, ripples in a lake.

18. A good book that makes me wonder, think, laugh and cry.

19. Fresh lemons squeezed in hot water with a drip of honey.

20. Laughing so hard I pee my pants.

21. THE BEACH.

22. MOUNTAINS.

23. Music, dance and living room dance parties.

24. Long conversations that fill my soul and keep me up too late at night.

25. The moon.

26. The SUN.

27. Playing hide and go seek with my entire Family in the woods.

28. My FREEDOM to choose.

29. Timotei.

30. My FAMILY. All of them.

31. My strength & resiliency.

32. Story time.

33. Quiet spaces.

34. Moments of solitude.

35. Animals.

36. Time and space to write.

37. Moments that everything is PERFECT. Perfectly flawed and perfectly PERFECT.

38. The awesome folks that show up to my yoga class every week to practice with me.

39. People who give of themselves without want of anything in return. These are my friends and my family and often strangers.

40. Eating freshly picked corn on the cob with my daughter and watching her methodical approach to gnawing through as many kernels as her little belly will accommodate.

41. The opportunity to do interesting work that is in support of HEALTH with some interesting, intelligent and committed folks.

42. That I am able to make a living from this work. 

43. That I am not DEFINED by my work.

How are you aging gratefully?

Toot-Asana

Yoga practice was going smooth. My body was a little tired - my shoulders sore but it felt good to move. I discovered the rhythm of my breath and the sweat began to pour. About midway through the class, Mike the teacher, takes us through a series of wide legged forward bends. He instructs the class to pause and we’re collectively kneeling in hero pose waiting for the next cue.

Then Mike walks over to my mat and asks me how I feel. He will often use one person in the group to demonstrate an asana or to explain how to work in partners and support or assist each other in a pose. We’re working on press handstand so I’m hesitantly enthusiastic. “I’m good” I reply. I repeat myself: “yeah, I’m good” as though I'm trying to convince myself.

While the rest of the class watches and listens, Mike supports me through a press hand stand starting from a wide legged forward bend. I feel light. I make it to the top - find my core lines and connect. Cool. I love being upside down. He tells me to come back down. I begin to draw my legs out wide and move my feet towards the floor. He’s still supporting my hips. I am almost there and try to connect deeper. Instead, I fart. A clear - loud - audible to the rest of the room - FART.

The embarrassment doesn’t end with one. As I collapse to the floor in horror, I let out a few extra toots just for good measure. Despite my humiliation, I find this whole experience hilarious. The person next to me cheers me on: “AWESOME” she says.  I want to crawl into a hole. From my fetal position on the floor, I apologize profusely and try to squelch my giggles. Mike, in his calm Mike manner, says "no worries - it's just yoga”. The room claps for my handstand attempt or maybe they are clapping for my musical notes that squeaked past my bandhas. My attempt to contain my emotion only amplifies my need to laugh. I keep giggling. As if I have not disrupted the flow of the class enough already! I try to take a deep breath. The exhale turns into another explosive burst of hysteria.

I quickly make my way out of the studio and into the change room so I can let it out. I go into a laughing fit on the change room bench. Another woman is in the change room standing there with her  towel in wonderment. I try to explain to her what happened. I can’t even say the word “FART” without losing it. Why is this so funny? For crying out loud, the subject of flatulence was a frequent topic of conversation at the dinner table when I was growing up (this I can not explain...). I take some more deep breaths and wipe the tears of laughter from my face.

I find the gumption to go back into the studio. I walk in the room and don’t make eye contact. I giggle a little more with my partner that I was supposed to be helping. Another fellow yogini comes over - says a few things that bring some levity to my embarrassment. This place is amazing. I am made to feel comfortable in my uncomfortableness.

As I write this, I am still laughing. I’ve always known that this yoga practise fuels me - it brings me closer to discovering my true self. I’m not there yet. I know for sure that my true being is considerably less inhibited about laughing and passing gas in public. For what it’s worth, I hadn’t laughed like that in a while. Perhaps this practice gave me just what I needed.

I thought twice about posting this. But I chose to do so for all the people that may have passed wind at the most awkward of times and for those of you that might dread doing the same. If a few toots escape when you’ve got an unexpected audience, don’t worry about it. Audible or not, passing gas is natural.  And call me immature but I still think farting is funny. In a sense, a little toot here and there reminds us to lighten up. And after all, yoga is in part about connecting with nature and finding a little lightness.